Twilight recaps by chapter

Chapter One – In which we are off to a good(ly) start.

Chapter Two – In which Bella notices how dreamy Edward is, and we notice that he seems to be a stalker.

Chapter Three – In which Edward saves Bella from a van with his manpire powers.

Chapter Four – In which Bella hates men, and Edward is sort of creepy?

Chapter Five – In which Edward shows his true colors as a creepy, controlling maniac.

Chapter Six – In which Bella finds a Native American to flirt with.

Chapter Seven – In which absolutely nothing happens.

Chapter Eight – In which Bella is a little idiot and Edward is a Big Damn Sociopathic Hero

Chapter Nine – In which we discover yet another super vampire power.

Chapter Ten – In which eating animals makes you a vegetarian.

Chapter Eleven – In which Edward and Bella are a renewable source of energy.

Chapter Twelve – In which every minute of Bella’s day is worth my God damn attention.

Chapter Thirteen – In which vampires are a natural source of bling.

Chapter Fourteen – In which vampires are tepidly explained.

Chapter Fifteen, part one – In which Edward kisses Bella and she freaking faints.

Chapter Fifteen, part two – In which we continue onward, and find that Edward really is good at everything.

Chapter Sixteen – In which we are supposed to like Carlisle but honestly he is the creepiest of them all.

Chapter Seventeen – In which plot starts to happen.

Chapter Eighteen – In which Edward is a gigantic asshole to Bella for being so tasty.

Chapter Nineteen – In which plot sort of fizzles.

Chapter Twenty – In which the plot lets out a death rattle.

Chapter Twenty-One – In which the plot chokes and dies.

Chapter Twenty-Two – In which we are thrown for a freaking loop regarding a certain psychic hottie bloodsucker.

Chapter Twenty-Three – In which the climax and denouement are possibly the most disappointing things ever.

Chapter Twenty-Four – In which Bella perfects her “I fell down the stairs” excuse.

Epilogue – In which there is an epilogue for some reason.

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