ADVERB COUNT: 55. I’ve noticed the presence of adverbs seems to increase when Edward shows up in the narrative.
BELLA LIKE-O-METER is a slightly-improved 2.5. She is showing signs of reason and seems to recognize that she is insane… for however briefly.
For the next week, Bella is the center of attention and SO TOTALLY HATES IT. The Tyler kid who almost hit her with his van is still trying to make amends, HOW IRRITATING. He even sits at her table at lunch now, joining Sweet-Polite-Mike and Chess-Club-Eric in the Bella Fan Club. SHE TOTALLY HATES IT.
Man, if three cute guys I knew liked me were constantly showering me with attention, that would be the worst.
…is Bella a lesbian? She doesn’t seem to have any problem with the girls who moon over her.
Edward ignores Bella for six weeks. Yep. He sits next to her in Biology and just doesn’t look at her. She begins to think that he regrets saving her life–I’d make some comment about what a stupid twit she is for considering this, but this is honestly possible since Edward seems to have massive psychological problems.
Unfortunately for Bella and her man-hating ways, the “Girl’s Choice” dance is coming up. Her friend Jessica wants to ask Mike! Aw wait it looks like Mike turned her down, so he could ask Bella to ask him. Bella deftly manipulates him into feeling bad for giving Jessica a “maybe,” and then, despite the fact that there is Nothing Wrong With Mike, she makes up some bogus excuse about going to Seattle that day. Also, apparently Bella is SO CLUMSY that she will cause herself and others bodily harm by going to a high school dance.
An aside, the only dance I ever went to was prom, but I have reason to believe that if someone had asked me to any other dance, I might have gone. Except for I’m a bit of a man-hater myself. I digress.
After Mike asks her, Edwards takes this moment to stare at her for a few minutes. Not at all creepy. Bella has a moment where she realizes that all this time she’s spent obsessing over a guy who is clearly sociopathic is unhealthy–good girl!
Edward then decides to talk to her, for reasons unknown, but only to tell her that they shouldn’t be friends. “Forget how friendly I was to you before and during saving your life, I’ve decided to cause you emotional pain by now ignoring you for no good reason. I know this will only make you want me more.”
Bella accuses him out loud of regretting saving her life, which seems to make him angry. Well, all right, there’s no “seems” about it, since Stephenie loves to just up and tell me how people are feeling. It saves me a lot of brainpower. Observe–
“He was astonished. He stared at me in disbelief.”
“He was definitely mad.”
What, no “his eyes flashed as the muscles in his jaw clenched, fists balling under the desk as he regarded me with a cold and baleful stare?” Think of all the adverbs you could fit into that, sweet author! On second thought, your readers are 15 year olds who just want to get to all the not-sex scenes, so the effort would just be wasted.
Bella can’t believe that Edward wouldn’t want to be friends with her. This totally ruins her day… again. Even worse, Chess-Club Eric is waiting by her truck to ask her to the dance. I thought this was Girl’s Choice? Incredibly, Bella echoes my thoughts. This girl has brief flashes of clarity that make me wonder if she doesn’t know she’s in a terribly written vampire novel. Eric is shunned with the same stupid Seattle excuse, and he “slouches off.” Poor guy, being a nerd is apparently a physical ailment.
Edward happens to be nearby enough to be creepy, and then pulls his car (“a shiny Volvo”) out in front of Bella’s truck so she can’t pull out–which gives Tyler enough time to come up to her window and ask her to the dance. Bella snaps at the poor guy (“I HATE IT WHEN BOYS LIKE ME”) and considers rear-ending the Volvopire.
Bella’s friend Jessica calls her while she’s making dinner, excited to tell her that Mike agreed to go to the dance with her. Bella continues her newfound love of manipulation by suggesting the other two girls at their table ask Eric and Tyler to the dance as well, so she doesn’t have to deal with her awkward and confusing lack of attraction towards anything with male genitalia, I’m sure.
Yes, I’m implying Edward doesn’t have any balls.
Speaking of that freak, he’s hovering around Bella the next morning as she gets out of her car, and catches her keys with inhuman swiftness when she drops them. Bella asks how he can appear out of thin air like that, and he says “It’s not my fault if you’re exceptionally unobservant,” because he clearly loves making his women feel helpless, confused, and crazy. P.S. his eyes have been changing color from black to “warm honey” all chapter, and it’s making me feel helpless, confused, and crazy.
Edward insists that they still shouldn’t be friends, because it’s for the best. Then he asks if Bella needs a ride to Seattle. NOT. AT ALL. CREEPY. No, it’s that he wants to be near her, but they still shouldn’t be near each other. Essentially, he’s artificially created a need for secrecy and inflated the forbidden nature of their relationship.
Bella, being a teenage girl, is hooked.
His last line in the chapter, I swear to God, is
“You really should stay away from me. I’ll see you in class.”
This kid needs medication.