It’s That Time

I have five chapters and an epilogue left in New Moon. So my question to you all is:

Who wants to lend me Eclipse?

I’m certainly not paying for it–Stephenie isn’t getting my money–and I don’t have any friends to borrow it from. A few of you have offered an exchange before, so here are my terms: You send me Eclipse, I promise to deface it as I recap (correcting grammar errors, writing angry things in the margins, doodling chapter illustrations, highlighting points that are utterly offensive, etc.), and when I’m done, I’ll send it right back.

Think of the potential value of such an item! It’s easily worth less than what you originally paid for it, now. And also, if anyone asks “Why the hell do you have Eclipse?” they will crack it open to see my witty commentary, and immediately realize that you are in fact a hoopy frood.

If you’re interested in such a proposal, please email me at manpirepowers@ — we will arrange something. And uh, in case I get multiple offers and have to choose one of you, you could sweeten the deal with a little love poetry, or something.

26 Responses to “It’s That Time”

  1. i read the .PDF for the first three, checked the last one from the library. will share the PDF if you want.

    • … though the idea of you writing all over it makes me want to go buy a copy to send to you.
      … … but, giving Smeyer my hard-earned cash fffffffffffffffffffff
      maybe i’ll prowl a used bookstore

    • Well, I certainly WOULD NOT be willing to send you a text version of the book, mainly because I DO NOT HAVE ONE or any idea how to acquire one, because PIRACY IS ILLEGAL AND WRONG.

      Also I’m sure you’d prefer not to have to waste your valuable printer ink on this tripe.

      Even so, if you can’t work out an exchange with someone, blink once for ‘No thank you’ and twice for ‘PIRACY IS BAD AND YOU ARE A BAD PERSON FOR EVEN SUGGESTING SUCH A THING’

  2. Well my new moon already got raichelized, idk if its fair if I get TWO books written in…

  3. Well sass that hoopy frood! If I was self-loathing enough to own a copy I’d lend it to you….. D:

  4. i wish i had a copy to lend to you. it might almost be worth spending my money to see the angry writings in the margins…

  5. You said happy frood and your email address is full of win. I’d send you my Eclipse copy but alas, it’d make my sister crazy. Though it’d be worth it for your commentary. :giggle:

  6. I’d love to get your margin notes! This snark is delicious. Haven’t got one, or I’d send it to you. I only make the mistake of purchasing that much of a series I hate once in a lifetime.

    Er, I mean… *cough*

    • Now I’m curious – what series could fail as hard as this one?

      • SMeyer’s next series?

      • Well, it’s pretty subjective, but I can give a few hints… It also has vampires in it, and werewolves… though you meet were-rats first.

        It has either bland or horrific descriptions of characters, many violations of common sense, a Mary-Sue main character (of Epic Proportions), a few instances of breaking one’s own rules badly… Oh, and contains a few badly written scenes of something SMeyer would find “icky.” Something I wasn’t warned about before picking up the series.

        Also, the main character is sometimes called the Vampire Humper

        Hope that helps.

        • LOL If you’re talking about the same series I’m thinking of, there are WAY more than “a few” badly written scenes of… er… “icky.”

      • Well, Vampire Diaries sucks as much.

  7. I don’t have Eclipse, but I do have Breaking Dawn and I would love to lend it to you when you start it, because snark just makes the world go round

  8. Less whoring for books. More recap.

  9. Android 21 3/7 Says:

    Buy it used off of Amazon? Ask your mother to buy it used off of Amazon?

  10. I would immagine that book would be pretty sought for by your fans, and Twihaters in general.

  11. Di-chan Says:

    I’ll offer to do that if nothing happens soon in posting.

  12. Can I send you Breaking Dawn?

    I went to the Midnight Opening of Breaking Dawn, it was hilarious.

  13. can you do that for breaking dawn?

  14. Mackattactress Says:

    I have a copy of all the books because I have idiots that give me twilight box sets for my birthday. It even came with the movie.

  15. I have utterly enjoyed reading this blog, but when you used the phrase “hoopy frood” above, my heart melted entirely. You are officially a really, really good human being. You do damage to the forces of evil just by continuing to breathe. Thank you.

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