Chapter Twenty-one

Oh god why won’t something happen.

ADVERB COUNT: 29. But then, this chapter is only 9 pages long.

Alice is having another vision, and sketching it out. Bella watches, before giving her instructions on where appliances go. Guess what, it’s Mom’s house. DUN DUN DUNNN. Alice immediately calls the Clan, and Edward jumps on a plane to Phoenix, coming to save the day. Alice and Jasper tell Bella they will stay in the city to make sure Mom is safe.

Bella flips out, worried that Mom will get hurt, worried that Alice and Jasper will get hurt, etc. etc. Jasper, who has been getting a lot of mileage out of his manpire power, attempts to make her fall asleep, which only pisses her off. She stomps into her room where she can cry in private.

Bella spends three and a half hours rocking back and forth and staring at the wall. Good God, woman.

The phone rings. Jasper is gone, checking out of the hotel. Alice lets Bella know that Edward will be in Phoenix in just a few hours. The phone rings again. Oh man this is chilling. After a second Alice hands the phone to Bella.

Mom is panicked on the other end, asking for Bella. She sighs, tries to calm her down, and is interrupted by “a very pleasant, generic voice–the kind of voice that you heard in the background of luxury car commercials.” Oh snap, it’s Generic Bad-Guy, and he’s got Mom!

So I guess the illustrious Forks Public School Department let crazy red-head have Bella’s records after all. Boo.

He walks Bella through a stilted conversation, trying to help prove to any vampires with her that she really is just talking to her Mom. Somehow, Alice falls for it. James threatens Mom’s life if Bella doesn’t come alone to her house and call the number left on the whiteboard there. Bella tearfully agrees, hangs up the phone, and starts to accept the fact that she’s going off to die.

Well, at least she knows there’s nothing useful she can do in this situation. Way to be a tough, clear-headed survivor, Bells.

She goes out to the main room, looking dead to the world. Alice is alarmed but, again, somehow buys Bella’s weak story of “Mom wanted to come back to Phoenix but I told her to stay where she was.”

Wait, I thought Bella was calling a house number in the previous chapter. Wouldn’t Mom already be in Phoenix for her to have gotten the number? …How the hell is Alice falling for this?

Bella ends the chapter by writing Edward a tearful, apologetic letter, for getting herself eaten. She urges him not to go after James, because that’s what the jerk wants. I love you, please, I’m sorry, don’t get hurt, etc.

The end.

Oh God SOMETHING HAPPEN ALREADY.

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15 Responses to “Chapter Twenty-one”

  1. Please, Bella, just go die.

  2. The thing I always wondered about when reading this is WHY Bella went to Phoenix to begin with. We know:

    1. Tracker will hunt her down to ends of the Earth.
    2. Mom lives in Phoenix.

    I thought Bella went to Phoenix to hide with her Mom (for some reason. Obviously she has no qualms about endangering her Mom) but instead she hangs out in a hotel with the vamps…so WHY GO TO PHOENIX? Wouldn’t any place have done fine, preferably one without a parent that can be used as a hostage? (And she could have always just lied to Charlie and told him she was going to Phoenix but go somewhere else, because it’s not like she hasn’t lied to him before!)

    Argh! My brain!

    • Katie Cole Says:

      i think it was suppose to be like a reverse psychology sort of thing. as in ‘hey let’s say we are going to go to phoenix, he’ll never buy that! then we actually go there, you know, to endanger my mom since my dad is already being stalked by a people eating vampire. he can’t have all the fun.’

      yeaaaa….

  3. dosen’t alice have super-vampirely hearing powers? shouldn’t she have known that it was the generic talking, instead of the cow’s mother? LAME.

  4. aaaaand why didn’t Edward just go all superspeed run to Phoenix the Clark-Kent-way instead of taking a plane?… I thought that was a manpire power but maybe I am wrong here, I forgot that’s just *superhero stuff*, bah!, the manpire power used here was probably just dazzling someone somewhere for good, and instant, plane tickets

    loves it.

  5. Frida Petrine Says:

    I still don’t get the fact, that this books MAJOR PLOT is a vampire so KEEN on eating this girl that he’ll do anything to get her… It’s not even personal. O_o.. It isn’t even business..just..for food O_O Whaaaaaat!??! I don’t buy it!

    • Iz Voleur Says:

      Yes, and why does he care so much about HER? Won’t any human do? All the humans they’ve come across just to track her and they ignore EVERY SINGLE ONE. Bella really must smell like a cheeseburger like She says. >.>

    • Android 21 3/7 Says:

      It was more for the thrill of the hunt than for food. That said, why doesn’t he go after someone more difficult, like the President? Is a family of vegan vampires more challenging than the secret service? Well I guess I can kinda see that, but then why doesn’t he just piss off a bigger family of vampires?

  6. I think James should have been thanking Edward for training Bella into blind obedience to manly manpower during that phone call.

    I actually imaged them together coming up with new tricks for Bella:

    Edward: “I can make her roll over with only one biscuit for a treat”

    James “Sure, but I can make her play dead! — over the phone no less!”

    Gack!

  7. On one hand we have Lunchable Bella. On the other, pack of super duper strong vampires that for some reason have decided to protect her. So Bella, being the twit with the self preservation of a cookie in a weight watchers meeting that she is, decides to ditch her bodyguards and go meet the bad man alone.

    1. I thought James LIKED a challenge. Now unless it was VERY difficult to get Bella’s phone number……….

    2. Is she illiterate? Can she not talk and write “James has Mom” on a piece of paper and hand it to Alice? Frantically point at the phone? Something.

    3. Don’t you think that just maybe the old wise vamps might be able to come up with a plan if she just told them.

    4. Then again since they are old and wise and HEAR WELL maybe they’re just playing along that she fooled them. “Sorry Eddie, we tried, but your clever little girl gave us the slip and got herself eaten. Oh well. Time to move on.”

    The thing that depresses me is that despite Bella’s best attempts, and boy does she do everything but cover herself in barbeque sauce and hang a “free lunch” sign around her neck, she survives. Oh god, why won’t somebody eat her?!? I’m a long time vegetarian and I’d eat her just to end this!

    • IKR???

      Oh, and you forgot no. 5.

      5. Alice has super hearing powers… Hello??? Can’t she hear that it’s James talking to Cheeseburger and not her mom??

      In BD, Bella hears Max (random human dude) talking on the phone and can hear clearly what the other guy was saying. Is it now only Vampire Cheeseburger that can hear these things and Alice is just inferior?

  8. Haha, Ilove this, I don’t want to rant, because most people have covered what has to be said. Just wanna point out that alice doesnt know because her mom calls the house everyday to check messages. Its mentioned somewhere in the chapter between her missing Edward, her missing Edward, and more of her missing Edward.

    Also – its moot anyway, Alice would know anyway, once Bella decided to go, and Bella isn’t smart enough to decide to fake it.

    *sigh*

  9. Something else –
    vampires are supposed to have excellent hearing. in book 4, Bella can hear the cars on the highway MILES away.

    …and Alice can’t hear a voice on the other end of the phone line?

    Oh please.

  10. Umm, shouldn’t Alice have heard the voice on the other end?

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