Chapter Three

ADVERB COUNT: 39 — Good job, Smeyer

BELLA LIKE-O-METER is a low low 2.

Brief chapter with brief flares of hatred. It snows and is icey! Bella is almost hit by a van that has lost control in the school parking lot! Edward stops it with his powerful manpire powers!

Bella then is a total bitch to everyone who is concerned for her after it seemed a van had wrapped itself around her. Everyone is basically the whole freaking town.


Edward goes back to being a dick to her when she demands to know how he stopped a moving van. Edward insists she is a crazy woman, soft and stupid like all women are (I’m paraphrasing).

The kid who was driving the van has bloody bandages covering his head and no one really spares him a second glance. In fact, Bella gets irritated with him for being so apologetic for nearly hitting her with his freaking van.

I don’t understand this character.

10 Responses to “Chapter Three”

  1. Katie Cole Says:

    manpire = best word EVER.

  2. I have to say that this kind of reminds me of Clair in episode 2 of the 1st season of heroes…but then Clair was really trying to hid the fact that she was a freak, Bella just seems to think she is soooo much better then any one else.

  3. Snape's Mistress Says:

    Furthermore, the movie (I watched the Rifftax version, a MUST SEE) points out how asinine this whole scene is, because, yeah, HELLO? Bleeding, injured African American kid in the BG, while perfect Bella is perfect. Does no one see problems with this? At all?


  4. i love how you summarize these books.
    Fuck, you are my hero.

  5. Victoria Says:

    I don’t get Isabella either

  6. Anonymous Retard Says:

    Edward is no vampire. Vampire’s don’t sparkle. Faeries do.

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