Chapter Seven is incredibly boring
ADVERB COUNT: Even though absolutely nothing happens, Smeyer manages to fit 67 in this chapter.
BELLA LIKE-O-METER is three? I guess?
Absolutely nothing happens in this chapter.
Bella listens to music. She has a nightmare about Jacob turning into a wolf and attacking vampire!Edward. She googles “vampire.” She takes a walk outside, decides that Edward must be a vampire, and that either way she still wants desperately to be with him. She is euphoric as she goes to school, and when she doesn’t see Edward at all at that day falls into a deep dark depression that doesn’t lift until the end of the chapter, when she and her girl “friends” load up into a car to go to Port Angeles for dress shopping.
That’s it. 22 pages of absolutely nothing.
The only high point of the chapter was when she told Nothing Wrong With Mike that her essay for English is about “Whether Shakespeare’s treatment of female characters is misogynistic.” I laughed so hard I nearly died.